| The only broken hearted loser you'll ever need... |
[entries|friends|calendar] |
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| ummm YAY!!! |
[31 Jan 2005|07:42am] |
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 ECSTATIC!! OMG! I LOVE HER!!! |
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Dead Poetic- "Modern Morbid Prophecies" |
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Rebecca came over on friday and spend the night friday and saturday =D
I had a great fucking weekend. I'm so fucking happy, we are dating now as of saturday. She said she was going to dump Mike. I mean on thursday she said she wouldn't dump someone for someone else, and on saturday I asked her why she changed her mind and she said "I fell in love." I'm so happy with her, I mean I knew we would end up dating just by like... the 1st hr she was over, we spend most of the time in the basement cuddling, which turned into more serious stuff. I have to watch what I wear now too... I have a hickie on my neck, one on my boob, two on my stomach, and on just below my belt line... omg, we had candles lit and one was in a glass thing and we were making out and them it like... broke... and we were like "Holey shit! WTF was that!?" and I grabbed it and ran into the bathroom and put the fire out, so funny. Oh and we walked down to Jos on saturday and she was leaving when we got there so her and I went into the sauna and were cuddling on the corner, it was so nice. Then we walked home and it was like getting dark, I mean we were over there for like 2+ hrs, but we were holding hands the whole was home, now right by 7/11 we were walking and this guy was like staring at us, so I stared back and he like was looking forward again, and we crossed right behind that car and then we were on the other side of the street and Rebecca goes "Dude we should kiss!" so we did cause we love pissing ppl off.
I'm kinda sad though cause I can't see her untill next weekend, but I have her shirt, and I'm wearing it, she smells soooo fucking good omg. I was like curled up lastnight and every time I breathed through my nose I could smell her. I called her lastnight at like 10:10 she was about to go to bed too, she has insomnia... she slept so much at my house cause she was comfortable, and I actually got to wake up holding someone I love, for 2 nights like we didn't go upstairs at all. We did like once at night that was cause Logan wouldn't leave us alone so we watched music videos with him for a while then said we were tired so he would leave up alone.
She wrote a poem lastnight, I did too. But yeah, she said she would because I said something the other night and she said she was going to make that the title of a poem. And she did, and I made it a poem too.
She almost never smiles... she was smiling like the whole time she was over here, which means she's happy, which makes me happy too. I love her so much, everything feels so right with her. I love it. I just hate the fact that our parents can't know... it means we cant be open about it around them and stuff. I mean if my dad or her mom found out about anything that happened between us this weekend we prolly would never be able to hang out again... which would be like devistating to me and her. It would be horrible...
Okay but yeah, the poem she wrote I was like about to cry. My eyes were tearing up... but here's my poem...
I want to lay like this Forever
I could stare into your eyes
Untill the end of time.
Every time we kiss
It feels so right.
Whispers and giggles
All through the night.
Everything's all right
As long as we're together.
Just to let you know...
I love you more than anything
And I love to let it show.
I have everything I want in life
Because my everything is you
Our bodies so close
You can hear every heartbeat
Every breath, and every whispered
I love you...
The smell of your perfume
So sweet and beautiful
Just like you.
I never want any of
This to end.
I kiss you neck
And whisper in your ear...
"I love you so much,
I want to lay like this
Forever."
LM 1/30/05
That's my poem, and it will go on my wall, along with her poem, which I don't think I'll put on here, just cause I don't want to.
Okay lastnight Jo and I went in the hot tub and well I went in, in a tank top and my thong, and when we got out I had to change my shirt, well I was like in my thong and that's it and Jo goes "You do know there's someone like right there..." and I was like "SHIT!" I backed up to the wall and grabbed my sweatshirt to cover myself and he goes "Sorry, I won't look..." it was so funny, Jo and I were laughing so much.
I wanted to hang out with Rebecca today, but she can't on school nights... it sucks. But I can say I have a girlfriend!! YAY! -happy dance- tee hee, so happy!!
Okay, I'm out... I have to print some stuff. sooo... peace dudes.
REBECCA- I love you so much baby. I had a great time this weekend and I wish it would have never ended, you're my everything. I will try so hard not to hurt you. You're not a fuck up, not to me. Don't let other people get you down, you're such a great girl and I love you so much for it.
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| ello! |
[27 Jan 2005|04:26pm] |
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Jo and Greg talking |
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2 days of finals down... 1 to go. Joy. I talked to Rebecca lastnight, I have a chance... she said she would date me after we hung out more and when her and her bf break up. She won't break up with him for me, she doesn't like doing that and i don't want her to anyways. I like her alot... and even though I'm grounded and shit... I'm still happy as can be. It's strange.. but oh well... i like it... I'm not gonna ramble on about her, like i have done about other people. Just I like her... alot, she's awesome to talk to and everything.... thats about all im gonna say.. lol
Shelly is gonna kill Kyle, I wanna watch, and right now Greg is totally messin with Logans head. It's soooo great. Logan is gonna tell me about all this shit tonight and I'm gonna laugh my ASS off at him. Jesus, it's gonna be funny..
OH! I didn't pass bio... I have an official 54 in that class... but im gonna do something from the text book... it will bump my grade up a lil... but not 6%... i got like 71% on my test... I think it ws 71, I can't remember.
I found a cool Happy Bunny pin... it says "Wow you're Ugly" tee hee, oh, I wanna get a pin that says "I Kiss Girls"
anyway, I'm gonna GO now...
peace!
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| blah blah blah |
[23 Jan 2005|10:24am] |
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mood |
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 naughty.. I wanna bite someone |
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The Used- "Take it Away" |
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Take the quiz: "Are you a good girl/boyfriend?"
You are the best
awwww you are everything they ever wanted. You seem to always make them smile. You never argue. They would never even think of cheating on you. you are the lack of a better word
Okay, not much has been going on, Nicole left yesterday, they couldn't find Mysti, which makes me sad, but it means she's here. I hope shes okay, they checked ALL over the house...
This morning dad said if I cleaned it down there I could move all my stuff to the basement... I'll finally get some fucking sleep at night, I'm soooo happy about that. Lastnight on the way home from shelly's dad was like "You know you should have been here to say goodbye to your sister." and i was like "I did, lastnight before she went to Andys I said goodbye..." yeah, idk. I miss her now though, I miss Popeye too, I'll never see him again... god... now I'm gonna fucking cry. Great. He was sooooo cute, and such a good dog, most of the time.
Shelly was to sick to do my hair this weekend, so I believe we are going to do it next weekend. I need to see if dad can get me shoes today, and I have to clean... alot... fun. I have to clean the basement, the kitchen, the bathroom, my room... well I'll clean my room after I get everything downstairs, and I'll throw away everything I dont need/want. Fun fun.
Shelly is selling alot of her clothes and stuff, and so yeah, I have $42 worth of clothes, which they r all worth more than that. She's being really generas with price. So yeah I got a pair of blue plaid bondage pants, a black made shirt, a soco patch, some mudd pants, a white long sleeve shirt that I like to put under the made shirt, and it can go under band shirts too, and i got a hoodie. All that is $42, i mean the bondage pants alone, Shelly payed like $70 for them. So yeah, I just have to get dad to give me $42, then I have to get new shoes and I'll be happy.
So yeah, I think I'm off, I'm not in the typing mood. Oh btw, I believe on wednesday night, I had a breakdown, I don't remember like anything, but I woke up with cuts all over my sholder... like 16. They aren't bad, but yeah... 3 months down the drain... grand. I was sooo pissed.
peace
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| yeah bitches! HOLLA! |
[13 Jan 2005|06:13pm] |
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 content |
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New Found Glory- "Failure's Not Flattering" |
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| =\ I'm sooo fuckin sorry about lastnight... |
[11 Jan 2005|07:27pm] |
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mood |
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 HORNY. SOO HORNY! FUCK ME NOW! |
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Anti-Flag- "Death of a Nation" |
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So yeah, another entry that isn't FO...
Okay yeah... the stuff I said about Paul in my last entry was not something I should have said considering the fact that Andrea doesn't say anything about Dani, I shouldn't be saying stuff about Paul. So... I'm really sorry. Like... seriously, I need to think about things more b4 I decide to put them in my lj... I shouldnt be saying shit like that about ppl, and I'm really fucking sorry.
I really have got to find another way to vent... wow. I'm not going to do anything to Paul because I have no reason to... so yeah... I'm off cause I don't feel like talking about my day right now...
EDIT:
Oh wow... Andrea is way pissed... she had never been pissed at me, I'm like shaking again, cause I feel so horrible for saying all that shit about Paul, really... If I EVER say shit about ANYONES friend... you can slap me, because I really shouldnt be saying stuff like that about anyone, specially if they r someones best friend... like Paul is her best friend, and I really REALLY fucked up by saying all that shit, which was me not thinking and saying random shit which I sould have just kept inside. It's not something htat needs to be in here because by morning i was fine, i didnt feel like shit, and i dont even know why i said all that shit... i mean... its so stupid and pointless. and now... i feel even worse because of it, because im stupid and dont fucking think b4 i post in my lj. *sigh* and sorry... wont cut it. because i want to say more than sorry, but idk how... i know this deserves more than a sorry... *sigh*
-Andrea... I'm really sorry, I love you soo much, and I shouldn't have said all that stuff, it wasn't called for.
<3<3
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| *sigh* I feel so fucking alone and unloved... can you change it...? |
[10 Jan 2005|10:51pm] |
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 drained...so tired, and lonely |
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Anti-Flag- "Death of a Nation" |
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An entry thats not FO... omg
Okay can someone help me get:
1 nail or rail road spike
1 outhouse
1 one way plane ticket to NY
1 dull cerial spoon
1 can of lighter fluid
1 match
1 Paul
I think I might give him the torture of the all mightly Shelly... nail his penis to an outhouse, give him a dull cerial spoon, and light it on fire, but I might tip it over b4 lighting it on fire... I swear I hate him, I mean that whole jealousy thing went away, I was all fine with it, but Andrea and I were talking tonight and everything, and I honeslty think I love her, and Paul is a fucking perverted bastard, and I don't know why I let him get to me so fucking much, it pisses me off cause he's supposedly "just kidding" but god damn... it gets to me all the fucking time, and I just want it to fucking stop, because I shouldn't let it get to me, I mean... I WISH I had a chance with her, but knowing me I DON'T because I'm fucking lame, and well nothing ever works out in my favor soooo... I'm pretty muched fucked with this whole thing.
I hate it when I have to vent all this shit on here. It's so annoying. I just sit and bitch about all this useless shit, just cause it's on my mind. I'm so fucking lame, I sit and talk about all these ppl I like. Whom I have absolutly NO chance with what so ever. Like yeah, I'm not over Dani, and there is something still there, but I mean... I just have to move on because it isn't gonna work out. I can spend the rest of my life waiting, wishing it would, but I can't do that to myself. I have to move on, no matter how much it may hurt me... or her... I hate the fact that it hurts her, and everything ppl says hurts her cause shes right, they don't know the facts. They don't know anything about it, only what I put on my lj, and I like that my friends are trying to help me, but I mean... they don't have to diss her...
Anyways... Yeah... Andrea, idk... confusing... she's on the phone with Paul that's why she signed off AIM, cause she was gonna lay on her bed and talk to him... I swear I'm gonna nail his dick to a damn out house soon... if I ever get my hands on him I swear I'll beat the shit out of him... which isn't good, but I don't like guys, I don't like the way they talk, and the way they act... ESPECIALLY guys like Paul! I don't know why I dislike him so much, my life would be a whole lot fuckin easier if I didn't dislike him so fucking much... and if I could actually have a DECENT fucking relationship, but no. Life fucking hates me and wants me to suffer.
If I like/love someone they always live out of state, if someone likes/loves me they live out of state, I can't find anyone IN the fucking state of OREGON. It's so fucking lame, everything with Dani is totally fucked up, and we will never go out again, Andrea... god... 3000 miles away which is mad hard... and I love her to death... god I hate dealing with all this at once.
How long do you think it would take me to walk 3000 miles... or even 2000... anyone know...? Of course you don't because well you don't know me, and you don't know the great links I would go through for love, see I'm lame, I believe in this whole concept of love when all it has done to me in the past is screwed with my head, but no I still believe it's real, and I still chase after it like I'm some puppy and it's my favorite ball...
I was on such a nice happy high earlier, I was so happy cause I got to talk to someone who made me feel special... and loved... and not like a fuckin loser... then she went away for the night and well I'm sad again, and writing in my LJ like usual cause I'm lame and this is all I do half the god damn time. I swear I live off of lj, and AIM... and Yahoo E-mail...
Just to let everyone know. I still love Dani, and I believe I always will, but I have to realise that she's now just my friend, and I have to deal with it, no matter how hard it may be for her or me. I love Andrea as well but have the notion that I have no chance with her no matter how much I wish I had one. Boys are evil and most need to die, because there are little or no decent men left on earth... unless they r bi, or gay... they can stay cause most of them rock my knee high socks. Walking 5 miles in one day is stupid, there are other ways to get rid of stress that don't have to do with cutting or smoking(AKA LJ-ing) I think I need to go to NY to see Andrea because I'm that lame and actually want to chase after her... as I did with Dani, back when I would do anything for her, which I still will... just not there's that nice "oh hi... I still love you but we can't go out" feeling... yeah... it's not the same anymore... I'm very very cold and want to cuddle with someone because I miss my "yay I'm loved" feeling...
"If you love someone tell them, because hearts are often broken by words left unspoken."
"I play the same song over and over, because it remindes me of you."
"No one is perfect untill you fall in love with them."
"I wish I knew exactly what to say, so I can be the one to take your breath away."
"I realized how much I love her when I was laying in bed lastnight, thinking she didn't love me..."
Okay that's all for my nice lil quotes... *sigh* I'm gonna go to bed and well... go take the action of that last quote... grand... this is going to be a long ass night... I can't wait... I wish someone was here to cuddle with... I'm like about to cry... I feel so fucking alone... It's horrible, I hate it. I hate being alone all the time, always feeling like an outcast... unloved by every single person I fucking know... everyone...
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| ummm yeah? |
[03 Jan 2005|02:50pm] |
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 accomplished |
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Pink- "Don't Let Me Get Me" |
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Sooo I have a Friends Only banner, thank you Laur you're awesome. So if I do this right, as of today my LJ is friends only.
Thank you Tanya Chalkin for taking this fucking awesome picture and thank you Laur for making me the banner!!
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| HOLEY SHIT!!! |
[03 Jan 2005|01:20pm] |
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mad chill yo |
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Taking Back Sunday- "The Waiting Process" |
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OMG OMG OMG!!!! Okay, I was downloading a song for KT, and I came across a song called babydoll... it's awesome.
It's 2:11 and I'm stressing
Watching TV in my hotel suite
I check my service every second
At 2:10 you still hadn't called me
So I'm gonna leave my cell phone
Turned on in my purse by the bed
And before I fall asleep
I guess I'll just check my machine
Again and again because I'm
Obsessing on you
Chorus
I wanna be your babydoll
Wrap me up nice and tight
Love me through the night
Come lay me down
Enfold me in your arms
Cover me with velvet kisses
Rock me on and on
And whisper softly to me
You wanna be my babydoll
Zoning out thinking about
You and me between the sheets
I want to get intimate
But you're not within my reach
So I'll have a little more wine
And I'll try to drink you
Out of my head
And I'll lay awake awhile
'Til I'm high enough I can
Forget about you until
I wake up again
I wanna be your babydoll
Wrap me up nice and tight
Love me through the night
Come lay me down
Enfold me in your arms
Cover me with velvet kisses
Rock me on and on
And whisper softly to me
You wanna be my babydoll
Slipping into dreams
I feel my love surround you
NY subconscious seems
To weave itself around you
Do you care for me
Beyond idolization
Tell me how you feel
But don't keep me at bay
'Cause I won't be waiting long
I wanna be your babydoll
Wrap me up nice and tight
Love me through the night
Come lay me down
Enfold me in your arms
Cover me with velvet kisses
Rock me on and on
And whisper softly to me
You wanna be my babydoll
I wanna be your babydoll
Wrap me up nice and tight
Love me through the night
Come lay me down
Enfold me in your arms
Cover me with velvet kisses
Rock me on and on
And whisper softly to me
You wanna be my babydoll
haha i loooove it!!
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| yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! |
[03 Jan 2005|11:59am] |
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mood |
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 bitchy... I'm a BITCH so what! |
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Taking Back Sunday- "Go On" |
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I'm sooo fuckin hyper right now, but I go back to school tomorrow... noooooo, BUT I get to see Jojo tomorrow... at fuckin 6:30 in the morning, but it's a gooooood thing, cause she lives soooo much closer now, I'm soo happy about that. She's my babysitter, if anything bad happens to Pierre she said she would make sure I don't do anything STUPID, cause knowing me, I'm bound to do something stupid...
Pierre isn't any worse, but he's not any better either, I think he's gonna go see his doctor tomorrow... poor baby, but Dr.Jackson is way cool. Anyways, yeah it was a bitch to give him his meds this morning cause I didn't wanna take him out of his cage, but I kinda HAD to cause he didn't want to take his meds.
Last night I was like sick, I was about to puke like ALL night, I felt like SHIT.
Did ya'll know Mountain Dew lowers sperm count in men? I've known for a long time, but it's like ALL my brother drinks, and it's not like I'm gonna TELL him... he wouldn't believe me anyways.
Okay Lacey is gonna go now... Lacey might update later, and yes Lacey is talking in 3rd person cause Lacey is fucking crazy.
<3<3
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| owwww |
[02 Jan 2005|06:10pm] |
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 depressed.. im crying and shit |
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Three Days Grace- "Home" |
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dudes, i feel sooooo sick, like im about to puke. aparently dad was gonna take Pierre to the vet tomorrow while i was at school, but guess what i dont have school tomorrow, lets HOPE he will take him on tuesday... he wasnt this bad 2 days ago, then i wake up today and hes horrible... its so sad. *sigh* ok im gonna go, for one i feel like shit, and two im talking to Dre.
and i have my FO banner, thank you laur!! so i think it will be FO tomorrow. or soon.
<3<3
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| why? |
[02 Jan 2005|01:29pm] |
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crappy, really really crappy!! |
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Taking Back Sunday- "The Waiting Process" |
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Pierre is sick, as most of you know. He's getting worse though, and I'm afraid we might have to put him down. I don't WANT to do it, but if it has to happen... then it has to happen. I don't want to talk to the vet, face to face or on the phone. I don't want to hear them say "We will have to put him down, I'm sorry." My dad can tell me, I mean back in Aug (if you knew my back then) you might remember me saying that he had a possible chance of dieing due to a possible tumor. My dad told me that, yeah, I cryed. I didn't want him to die, but things happen. I hate to say this... but I kind of want it, I don't want him to suffer if he is. I have tried to give him the best life possible, I've had him for a little over a year now. He's like, everything to me. He's my baby, I love him. If he has to be put down, I'm really going to miss him. I really really will. Just everyone remember, this is an extreamly hard time for me, I'm really stressed out, I'm just gonna need friends... I don't wanna have a weird break down and fuck up my arm... again... I havn't in a long time, and I honestly don't want to again. I've calmed down alot in the past 15 or so min. Andrea got on and I stopped crying, she got me to calm down.
**Andrea, I love you so much. You're sooo great, you're always there for me and always make me feel better and not like such a loser. Thank you sooo much for being here for me, I love you.**
So yeah, right now I'm just talking to people, calming down and everything. School starts the day after tomorrow... I have to go, If I don't I will miss alot of shit. And Jessi and I have to finish our screenplay, *sigh* so much shit to get done. Jessi, I know you prolly won't read this, but I'm sooooo sorry we didn't finish that screenplay, and I havn't been much of a help with the whole thing lately.
Ugh, I have a HORRIBLE headache, and my stomach feels like it's being stabbed, and I'm not shakin as much, which is really good cause I could hardly hold a cup 5 min ago. Just everyone, please hope Pierre gets better, and stays that way. It's not my fauly he's sick, I try my best to keep him healthy and I do everything I'm supposed to do. Okay, the heater is on and now im freezing cold... can someone come over and comfort me? Please? I just want to cuddle with someone... I want someone to hold me... so can someone please come over?...
***EDIT:(I would do an LJ cut, but it wont let me, sorry everyone)
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v61/Juicy92887/Pets/Pierre6.jpg (yes, I want this one to be a link, that's about how big he is)
 
Look at how cute he is...
 
He's such a dork, I love him... the second pic was taken the day I got him... *sigh*... OMG! I have pix of him on my dads film that was left over in his cam! Yay, I can get them developed and put them in my photo album...
 
=) He's so cute... *sigh*
I'm out, I'm gonna go calm down some more...
Love ya'll MUAH
<3<3
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| awesome! |
[01 Jan 2005|10:36pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy... ok maybe not... |
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Taking Back Sunday- "You Know How I Do" |
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i can SOOOOO do that. anyone want to like move in next door to me? anyone at all!?
anywho i got that from Briana's lj.
Saw National Treasure tonight, good movie, the chick in it is HOT, and Riley* I think is pretty cute, and funny. The thing I didn't like was the fact that Ben ALWAYS knew exactly where to go, like he looks in the room and knows exactly where something is, which doesn't happen in real life, but i mean it was a movie with a decent plot line and everything. the camera angles were good (see this is what you get from someone whos in tv and film). i would recoment it too ppl who like action/adventure films.
okay Im OUT, im gonna talk to Dre and Jo. i heart them.
<3<3
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| *Sigh* |
[01 Jan 2005|02:27pm] |
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mood |
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 confused... so confused!! |
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The Distillers- "The Blackest Years" |
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So yeah, talkin to Dani and Andrea... Dani and I always have our awkward moments... like seriously I still love her, she still loves me, but for some reason it doesn't matter anymore, because I can't be with her anymore. It's sad...
Me: what did you write beautiful me about?
Her: ........
Her: it was to you
Her: and adam agreed to do it cause he dedicated it to marinda cause he broke up with her
Me: aww
Her: yeah
Me: love you...
Her: i love you, too.
Me: i miss you, like.... alot. *sigh*
Her: ....
Her: well, im sure andrea is there...
Me: *shrugs* yeah, but still.
Her: ....
Her: i dont like being a backup plan...
Me: no one is. its not like her and i r gonna date.
Me: unless i end up moving there, and i dont see that any time soon.
Her: ...
Me: cause i dont have any money. and im gonna stop b4 i end up digging myself an even deeper hole
Her: ...no...it doesnt matter
Is that isnt awk, idk what is. Then it's like nothing was said, and othing ever happened. We do it all the time. *sigh* I can't have Dani back, and I can't and Andrea at all... I can't have anything, lame.
So, I'm off. Random something I thought I might put in...
<3<3
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| duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!!! |
[01 Jan 2005|01:15am] |
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mood |
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ugh... NOW I cry... fuck... |
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New Found Glory- "Doubt Full" |
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OMG! Someone ran into the fence, like took half of it out!! Like I was on the computer talking to Andrea and Marie and then CRASH! And the house is fucking shakin and shit, and I jump up and run out of the room into the hallway and Logan was like “SOMEONE RAN INTO THE HOUSE!!!” and I look out into the yard and HALF THE FUCKING FENCE IS GONE, like… DOWN, all the way. Holey shit it was like WOOOOO! But yeah, 10 min into the New Year and we have some dumb fuck, drunk driver driving through our fence. Our mail box is gone, not like… a lil ways away… it’s GONE! *sigh* Well happy New Year everyone, I got to see a fire engine today, go me. I’m sooooo glad I didn’t drink anything tonight, omg. I would have had to talk to a cop, and well… I’m not good with cops… heh… and me being drunk wouldn’t go over to well.
Jason brought Andrea home tonight, she didn’t hook up with Paul… *cough* but anyways, thank you Jason for bringing her home. She was soooooo drunk, still is too. She called me though, and we talked for like 15 min until Logan came in to get the phone. But it was still a good phone call none the less, apparently she was SMILING the WHOLE time. Go me =) Then I started singing… which… isn’t good, cause I suck at singing, so I turned the music off so I wouldn’t sing, but I was singing “Everywhere” by Michelle Branch. Then Popeye (yeah, Andy took Ripley to his apt until Nicole gets rid of Popeye, she’s gonna call a rescue thing and a few other places and everything…) was making out with me, it’s why I don’t sit in the floor next to him, cause then he attacks you… he kisses you… and it’s kinda scary, but I was like “Popeye, I’ll make out with her, but not you, I’m sorry…” yeah, it was funny. Andrea is so cute when she totally wasted, and I was all hyper, and okay… wow… the whole Jason thing is just now getting to me, at 1:13, she just got off line, and all of a sudden it hits me… wow… uhh… I think I’m gonna go… b4 a like bust out in tears or something, for anyone who decided to ask, I do love her… and it was something I was worried about with tonight, and I told Marie that tonight, and well yeah… it happened… idk y it’s getting to my so much… but I have to go… just go… lay down or something idk…
I need a FO banner, anyone want to help?
<3<3
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| HaPpY nEw YeArS!!! |
[31 Dec 2004|11:29am] |
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mood |
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 anxious... i have butterflies! |
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music |
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Beautiful Me. The song Dani wrote... yeah... It's nice. |
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HAPPY NEW YEAR BITCHES!!!!!
Yeah, it's rainbow... what the fuck what. You think I care? You think I actually care? I'm bi, so fuckin what. I'm proud as hell cause you know what... ya'll know guys lie. You MIGHT get a good one... if you're lucky, but most of us aren't so I don't waste my time.
Since this is prolly one of my last entries in 2004, I want to make it a good one. I'm gonna do an lj cut just in case it's a mad long entry, it might be. Idk.
( 2005... )
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| grrr! |
[30 Dec 2004|01:27pm] |
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mood |
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bitchy... I'm a BITCH so what! |
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music |
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Ashlee Simpson- "Pieces of Me" |
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UGH! Why am I so fucking jealous of people? I fucking HATE it! I'm ALWAYS jealous of SOMEONE! ALWAYS! I'm soooo fucking jealous of Paul right now, I fucking hate it. I always have to be jealous of someone, it never fails! I don't WANT to be jealous of him, but I am anyways. Why? Someone PLEASE fucking tell me, why am I SOOOO fucking jealous of him!? UGH! *bangs head on keyboard* WHYYYYYY!?!?!? tgfrtggfrrtygt <-- Me banging my head on the keyboard! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! I'm out, I gotta talk to ppl... wtf am I gonna do?
I'm such a jealous bitch...
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| ummm yeah? |
[29 Dec 2004|02:08pm] |
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mood |
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bitchy... I'm a BITCH so what! |
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music |
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Something Corporate- "Only Ashes" |
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Sleep was good... dad finally left lastnight and got home this morning cause he spent the night at Cindy's. I didn't even know he came home, Logan told me this morning. God I'm so glad I don't have to see him all day. Im gonna get something to eat soon though, I'm hungry. Today Logan woke me up cause I asked him to get me up when he got up and it was almost 11. I got online and talked to people for a lil bit. Dani was on which it's always fun to talk to her. Even though I miss everything b4 our 1st break up, I still like talking to her as much as I can. I also talked to Andrea, we both had a night full of crying, like first she was, then when she stopped I started and it was not fun. But we finally both calmed down and I got bored and made her something that she really liked. She was on the phone with Paul for sooooo long lastnight. He's coming back home for New Years and so is Jillian which makes her really happy. Anyways, I took a shower today, and I have to go find all dads clothes and shit, I still have to eat something, and I have to clean Pierres cage, I think dad's going to get Pierres meds today, I hope he does... but here's the poem I wrote...
( Love Me... )
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| ugh! |
[28 Dec 2004|09:00pm] |
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mood |
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im fuking crying, great |
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music |
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Something Corporate- "Konstantine" |
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God, I'm crying again. Dad fucking always yells at me! Twice tonight, once cause I didn't eat lastnights dinner that i didnt finish for lunch today, then again cause he cant find his fucking work clothes! It's going back to how it was b4 Nicole got here, (Konstantine just came on... 10 more min of crying) and i was fucking depressed, and it started the cutting. I bet you a fucking plane ticket outta here that with in 3 motnhs of Nicole leaving (around April 22 is 3 months after she leaves, cause she leaves on Jan 22) I'll be cutting again. And oh look at that! April LAST FUCKING YEAR I started cutting on the 13th, close fucking dates. Its going to be fucking hell around here when she leaves... If you guys dont keep me sane ill fuckin kill myself. Or try again... I'm gonna fucking go... and cry my damn eyes out some more...
I <3 You
<3<3
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| awwwwwwwwwwwwwww |
[28 Dec 2004|05:42pm] |
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mood |
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ECSTATIC!! OMG! |
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music |
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Taking Back Sunday- "You're So Last Summer" |
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Holey fuckin cow!! ya'll HAVE to see this... omg omg omg!! I'm talkin to Andrea online (and Maranda and i havnt talked to her in sooooo long) BUT this is like mad cute!!! omg omg!!!
( loooooooooooooooooooooooook!!!! )
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| duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!!! |
[28 Dec 2004|02:10pm] |
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mood |
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amused *gasp* A LLAMA!!!! |
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music |
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New Found Glory- "Failure's Not Flattering" |
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ok!! random fuckin moment!! ok. super powers... i want invisabilty, transportation, force field, mad fuckin speed that would be way cool... and i think thats it! but that would be WAY cool! cause then i could like... transport myself in like 2 seconds! tooo like... cool places, and i could go chill with ppl and everything!!! and and... YEAHHHH! sorry... im having my little kid moment... ummm someone get me a penguin and a gf, ill be ALL set...
**** READ MY OTHER ENTRY****
<3<3
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lacey_080790's journal
